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bugbird
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PathStep 2 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts1 Age GroupTeen Last activeMarch, 2025 Member sinceMarch 6, 2025
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I'm not sure what to do to get help.
General Support / by bugbird
Last post
 Thursday
...See more (I tried to send this thread before but it didn't seem to work, apologies if it did work and I'm sending it twice) I've been experiencing issues that I'm having trouble asking for help for from friends. and looking things up online aren't helping. everything I find that relates to the issues I have are either dependant on disorders I don't have or onlt tangentially related. the first issue I'm having are thoughts, I've had them for years though recently they have been getting worse. they make no logical sense and intrude on my normal thoughts. They are not related to anything happening in the real world or my current train of thought. they tend to center around specific topics (lying, spiders, and birds mostly) or discribe situations that could not have happened. example: "the spider is on the wall is not on the wall was never a spider". these thoughts happen semi-regularly but sometimes they happen so fast that I have a hard time thinking around them. they are extremely distressing. I attemped to figure out what they are online and both intrusive and disorganized thoughts seemed to match. all resources I could find on the former were related to violent or sexual intrusive thoughts which I don't have (though I occaionally have paranoid ones). and all resources I could find on the latter were related to psychosis which I don't think I have. the second issue I have is paranoia, especially in the mornings, though sometimes it'll happen at other times of day too. my paranoia doesn't generally have to do woth friends or family. moreso it has to do with feeling like I'm being stalked, poisoned, hunted, chased or attacked by something or poisoned, trapped, kidnapped or killed by specific strangers I see. It can lead me down ideas of conspiracy, or make me conviced that the next few hours are the only I have left. This hurts my ability to focus on my normal life and makes me feel unsafe everywhere during these episodes. I have also researched this but all that comes up is paranoia related to thoughts about people close to you and your personal life, talking about helping someone else with it or paranoia related to mental illnesses I likely don't have. which is not helpful to my experience. I have thought about talking to friends and family, even made plans for it. but I've never actually done it, talking to people I know in person about my issues feels impossible. but for some reason people online seem much easier. so I'm asking you for help. What are some resources and coping strategies for these things? does anyone relate? Is this something that will get better on it's own or should I be more worried? anyone I could talk to that specializes in these issues?
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