Should I trust her?
I know my friend said that she wanted to make peace with me after a huge argument we had. She said that we should just let time pass and we could talk one day. I agreed to it, but she has blocked me on all platforms right now. It is going to be 2 weeks now. As much as I try to convince myself that she would unblock me and reconcile with me, I keep having this fear that she has betrayed me.
I have gone through a lot of betrayal from those who are the closest to me - my family, old friends and ex boyfriend. Even though she has told me many times that she's not like them, I struggle to believe her. Now that she is blocking me right now, I wonder if I should trust her or give in to the possibility that she has betrayed me like other people in my past.
@amusingSummer8989
what does your gut tell u?
I, myself find the whole block and unblock thing as not dealing with things.
If she wanted to take a break then reconcile why block? what is she hiding from you? On the other hand, I have also known others who blocked then got mad that they never heard from someone as they FORGOT they blocked.
Move on, work on yourself, then if others let you down you are secure in yourself and it does not cause the worry and doubt. If she decided to reconnect you can decide then if it is in your best interest.
The thing is that the argument was my fault because I threw away all my support to her and her work based on a false pretense (I was suffering from a meltdown because everything was going wrong that time). I truly felt like I was the bad person who ruined everything because of my insecurities and emotionality, which has been a common reason why people left me. I was the one that let her down greatly so I kept blaming myself for everything.
I am aware that when we had our first argument, she did block me. I did apologise to her, and she accepted it, but she only unblocked me a week later. This is like our third argument, and it is the worst one. I know she said that she won't block me, but then she blocked me anyway, which was the reason why I felt betrayed. Then again, I didn't ask her for clarification, so I assumed that she meant that she won't permanently block me.
I did ask about this issue to my friends, and they all said that she is just taking a break, and that some people use the block option as a way to cope or as a mental break.
@amusingSummer8989
Did she know you were under stress and suffering a meltdown ?
even if it was a false premise if you have taken the responsibility. IT is not all your fault ... most arguments or misunderstandings are somewhere in the middle maybe not 50/50 maybe even 80/20.
GROWTH in yourself solves so much of this the belief it is all you is only self punishment.
Yes, she is aware that I was going through a meltdown. But she still feels wronged by me.
My other friend explained that sometimes friends would accidentally say the wrong words, which triggered my trauma.
I know I have a huge issue of self punishment because I put myself in high pressure and expectations. Mainly because I am expected to be the best in everything, or else I am the worst in everything. I am really trying, even when I am struggling with identity crisis.
@amusingSummer8989
blocking and unblocking can be a part of healing. But it is taking too long. Ask yourself what do you think, does she want to still be your friend or not. If I was in this position what advice would you give me? Think about it carefully.
I don't think 2 weeks is taking too long.
I am not fully healed. In fact, I feel like I am just getting worse. I probably need more time and space than her.
I literally can't reach her at all, so it's up to her to decide.
I don't think I can give you any advice about this. I just don't know.