I hate making friends that only want to have sex with me.
I've had friends who weren't like this in the past, but now I have none. I don't have anyone to call when I'm upset or bored. no one's house to chill at when we're both free. no one to be actually vulnerable with.
What happens is I'll make friends and they stuck around, but stay surface level. we'll know each other for years and then it would come out that they have a crush on me, or have been wanting to hookup.
In college, this was both of my "friends" (one who I ended up dating). They would keep shooting their shot after I said no. I had to drop out and move back home, met some more friends, and the same thing happened. They had a crush on me and wanted to have sex, under their specific conditions. then it expanded. I thought I was getting closer to people, then they would kiss me and it would go on from there.
The thing is, people will get angry if you give it to them or not. If you don't after they told you they wanted it, they'll harbor anger. They'll sabotage any relationships you end up in. They'll blow up at you that they do soooooooo much for you, and you can't *** them?? not even one?? Then you do and then they don't want to talk unless you have sex. They act annoyed if you're not having sex. And everyone acts like you're crazy when you develop feelings because you're trained to Only have positive experiences around them if you guys are doing something. Then they get bored. Then you're the crazy one.
I just want a deep connection again. I don't want to sell my body for emotional support. I LOVE SEX!!! I hate that that will always be the fuel to my unhealthy relationships. I view sex weirdly. When I set boundaries they're played as jokes "bc I'm a *** anyways".
I just want someone to genuinely be nice to me.
Heck yes!!!
Yeah, it’s not fair when people treat relationships as a one way street for their own gain. I can’t entirely relate when it comes to sex, but as a male sometimes women do it too. However, I was a free tutor a lot in college under a similar premise. They just wanted a free on-call tutor. Setting boundaries meant they’d disappear.
All that said, I think part of the problem is what guys are told about relationships. A lot of people tell them to seek friendship before a relationship. Shy, awkward, or anxious guys see yet another barrier in the road. Whereas the more active guys that women complain about see an opportunity to get what they want (sex) without being explicit about their goals because now it’s expected behavior.
it sucks all around. What do I know anyway? I’m apparently extremely lonely according to a quiz 7cups had me take.
I'm a lesbian and was queer before that, so I don't have a lot of experiences with cis het men in this way. Never had sex with one. I knew this and stayed far away because of it. also because cishet man are significantly more dangerous, I'm never alone with one. I'm well aware that women do this and it sucks. I'm greatful and blessed that they won't murder me when they do this type of thing though,,
I think it's a bit different. I don't expect empathy from men, so when women do it to me it hurts a lot more.
This is a tiny bit inappropriate.
could you elaborate? I'm not sure why it is. this is kind of a fact of life if you grow up a girl,,,, we're asked to not drunk much, dress modesty, and not be alone with men bc of it. or is it bc I'm queer? that wouldn't make much sense on a mental health app
@mossmonstr
I hope you find it.
thank you <3 upholding my boundaries about this has left me with very few people to be around and shame about developing crushes on others 😞