Please help with consumed thoughts 😞

I’m desperately seeking help with my consumed thoughts that are taking over my life right now. 

A brief background:

I recently returned to work after a traumatic incident following severe bullying and discrimination. When I returned I was shocked that many colleagues/friends were hostile to me, as they stayed  working with my bullies (there was no discipline in the end). While I did have some support, I’ve found it difficult when I’m face to face with these others that have chosen to be hateful without even reaching out to me. It’s a complicated case. 

Well last week I was in the office of a former friend I guess and I was caught off guard with the conversation.  I’m not great on the spot as I usually need to digest what’s being said before I can respond properly. Long story short I didn’t say what I should’ve said to defend myself properly. This person represents a big group that has treated me unwell for a long time.

Here’s where I need help. I know it’s one thing to just say forget about the event, but I can’t. I have been so consumed with these invisible conversations. I should’ve had nonstop for the last week. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I’ve been pulling my hair out. I do get consumed with thoughts, but for some reason, I can’t seem to break out of this. I feel like I missed the biggest opportunity ever to make somebody understand something so big even though I know it doesn’t matter.

I’m so close to even texting this person to seek out another conversation even though I know it’s a bad idea.

Someone please help me heal. My brain is eating itself up.

Does anyone have tips to break this obsessive cycle?