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HELP!

by raccooncutie30

21 hours ago

Dating an Emotionally Unavailable person

by MichaelPeavey10

Thursday

One thing that helps!❤

by Sunisshiningandsoareyou

Tuesday

I'm in a weird situation

by Theother172

February 20th

Bf of 1 year doesnt seem interested in sex

by SadShark18

February 20th

How to avoid the wrong person

by Boon4U

February 19th

...See more Hey there lovely folks!🤗 Life's been crazy since we got our first heartbreak and nothing ever goes back to how it used to be. Infact, it has gone so much more crazy with the years. In today's world, the dating thing is not working even though each and everyone of us want to build a good bond with a good person. The internet is no help either, it's one heartbreak after another and life gets more and more disappointing. Well we cannot find the perfect partner out of the blue, but you can surely avoid the wrong ones, by doing some simple mindful excersises and conversations. Here are few things you can do to avoid the disappointment of wasting time on the wrong person:- 1. Have a clear understanding of what you want in a relationship- whether it's something casual or serious, whether you are ready for comittment or not; you must understand what you are looking for, if you are confused then don't jump into anything, until you figure it out. We make impulsive decisions when we are lonely or sad, make sure that is not what's driving you to look for love. 2. Be clear on your standards- Know what you want in a partner and don't compromise in this area, because later on it will cause frustration to you. 3. Listen to Your Gut- Even if it's a joke, if it makes you doubt the vibes, and your gut tells you something is off, try and observe around the issue and don't ignore your instincts, regarding a person. If you get on the wrong train, get off at the next station; the longer you stay, the more expensive the return trip will be 5. Be responsible- Don't give others false hope or subtle hints, be direct if you like someone and be responsible towards others and yourself by learning to say "NO" if you don't like them. 6. Be open and ask questions- your worst nightmares, confrontations! You have to be direct and ask the other person, how they feel or see you, do not assume their feelings, and never think that they'll assume yours; so openly communicate with them. 7. Be mindful and at peace- Sometimes we simply need to be aware of why we want something or someone so much, and most of the time, we are either acting under fear or ignorance...always remember that love comes from a place of clarity and calmness, clear your head space before making any such decisions, and stand by it with all the courage you have. I hope this helps you with having a better understanding of yourself and the world around you. Feel free to let me know other points that we can consider as we navigate through the modern dating world.💗

Please i NEED fast help. Im going to talk to him today a last time

by rationalWriter832

February 13th

...See more Hi, I’m im middle eastern christian but live in europe and we date in a way where, when you become a couple, you have a small party where everyone comes over, and you announce that you've said yes to being together. It's very serious, and you assume that it’s a yes to engagement and marriage. I’ve been dating a guy this way for about 8 months. On our first date, everything was fine. He asked if I would be willing to move to hix city for him, and since I knew that my parents wanted to move there, I said that I was eventually going to move there because my family wants to, and I asked if he would be willing to move to my city. His response was, "I would do anything for the one I love," which made me very happy. Especially because I had an ex who never listened to me but only to what his parents said and was a real mama's boy, so I was so glad to have met him. I also said that I didn’t want to be with someone who smokes, and he told me that he could stop, but it would take time. Overall, he was very understanding in the beginning. We talked about how respect is important and that we could be together. I directly mentioned to him that it means a lot to me when someone keeps their word because the person I talked to earlier couldn't keep his word. I didn’t directly explain what it was about, but my ex had told me January that I was important to him and left me about 18 days later, after which I found out there was another colleague on the sideline with my ex without me knowing. After I had wasted several months on this guy, about 6 months in, he suddenly says that he has thought about it, and he can't move to my city after all because it’s empty, doesn’t have enough of a social life, and doesn’t have enough people from our home country. I was really sad that he changed his mind, but I chose to say we could find a city in between. I said we could live in in a city between, and he didn’t agree at first, but then he gave in and said he could live there for a couple of years (1-2), which I wasn’t happy about but thought it was better than nothing. In the beginning, he said it was because his parents were old and he couldn’t leave them alone in in his city. Later, when I said, "What if I want to live in in the capital which is too far away one day?" he said that was fine because he had friends there. So, I felt like it wasn’t about his parents but about his friends. He was choosing to let me live somewhere I wasn’t happy with for the sake of his friends. I think your spouse should always be prioritized over friends. I also noticed that he never even tried to stop smoking during all this time. When I asked what he had done about it, he just said, "Nothing, I’m taking it easy." Another thing is that while we were together, he suddenly wanted to buy a very expensive Mercedes. I told him that it was stupid since he had a mortgage, and he said the house paid for itself because he rented it out. I think it’s okay to take out a loan if you can’t afford a car, but I didn’t think it was right to borrow 400k for such an expensive car while still having a mortgage. He began explaining that it was better to invest his money instead of paying off loans and talked as though he had millions invested. He said his loan had nothing to do with me, and as long as we weren’t married, it was none of my business. I felt things had taken a turn then, and he’s was quite different from what I initially thought. I believe his loans have EVERYTHING to do with me because he earns a maximum of 40k a month, and I’ve taken a really good education and earn 100k every month. I feel like he has a lot of debt, and I’ll end up paying it off for him. I don’t even mind paying it off for him because for me, when you're married, there’s no such thing as mine and yours—it’s all joint. But the problem I have is that I feel I have no say in anything. He buys the car and does whatever he wants. He also started telling me that it’s a car he’s paying off together with his dad because his dad also helped him buy the house, so his dad also gets part of the rent. It all sounded very strange to me. With my ex, I had immediately said it was okay to move to the same city that this guy wants to move to, but even though my ex was a mama’s boy, he had a good grasp on finances and a good job. So, in that regard, I felt that I would have rely on him about the financial side of things, and that’s why I didn’t want to leave my job. In my case, I can earn much more in the province, and I felt that if I was going to be the one responsible for all that, I should be able to keep my job since I make good money there. Eventually, he says that he will only live in the city in the middle for a maximum of 1 year. So, I give in again and say we can live in a city like half an hour from his, even, and this is the closest i can get to his city without losing my job. I cant drive mode than 1 hour daily. He then says that’s fine, and he can live there for 1-1.5 years until we find a good plot of land in there and build a nice house. I end up accepting everything, and we also pick a date to have the party and make everything official. I just feel like in the end, I’m not happy. I feel like everything I asked for didnt happen in the end. He never moved to my city. I got an ultimatum that we could live in in the city only 30 minutes from his for 1-2 years MAX after marriage, meaning I’d eventually have to quit my job. He bought the car as he wanted. He never stopped smoking. These weren’t even big demands I felt I made. Girls, especially from our culture, ask for A LOT, like 100k in gold for the wedding, an expensive wedding, and all sorts of other things. I even always drank water when he invited me and refused to accept gifts because I didn’t want him to waste money on me before we were serious, and in our culture, the man pays for dates or it’s an insult if I pay. So, I always drank water and chose the cheapest on the menu. I really did a lot without saying it out loud. A week later, I called him and told him that I can’t move after all. He got really angry and told me he had wasted a year of his life on me (it had now been 10 months in total), and that I was indecisive and couldn’t make up my mind because I first said my city, then halfway, then closer to his. I felt like he was putting it all on me, but the reason I mentioned those cities was because he wasn’t willing to budge, so I quietly decided to give in again and again, moving closer and closer to city. I had initially thought I would be okay with it, but everything happened slowly, and I felt like none of my few requests were being honored until I finally felt like I was agreeing to everything as he wanted. I also felt that it didn’t make sense when he said he could take out big loans because he has contacts in the bank. It all didn’t add up in my ears, and felt scary that he did things so the same rules for everyone else didnt apply to him. So, I called and told him I couldn’t move. I at least wanted to keep my job if I had to support us because he had two debts now: both the house and the car. He didn’t take that well. He actually wrote to me later that same day saying he had completely changed his mind, and even though he had agreed to both living halfway and the city half an hour from his, he had now changed his mind, and it would either be his city, or I could just leave him alone. He wrote that he had done a LOT for me, but now I didn’t want to move or meet him halfway, and he felt like I had played with him and hadn’t taken this seriously. He wrote that no one was forcing me to be with him, and if I didn’t want to, I could just leave. I was so upset. He had chosen to behave this way toward me. That same evening, he called my mom. I have no idea how he got her number, but he told her everything, saying it was just small things, and that she should try to convince me to accept. My mom actually got angry with him because she thought I seemed very reasonable. From the call, she had the same impression as me, that he cared too much about his friends, that he bragged too much about being able to take out large loans and having a lot of contacts, and that his ultimate goal was to take out a lot of loans, and I would be the one to pay for everything with my salary to support us, while he would use his salary to pay off loans and debts. She got a bad taste in her mouth about him and actually advised me to leave him, as he seemed like he wanted to exploit me financially. That same evening, I wrote to him that if he prioritizes a city more than me, I can’t continue, especially because he had promised he would be willing to move to anywhere for the one he loves. I wished him good luck. Deep down, I had hoped it would be an eye-opener for him that he was about to lose me and that he would choose me over friends and everything else. The next day, he sent me a message. Nearly an entire A4 page about how I keep changing my mind, first wanting to live here, then there. That I’m rude for telling him I need to try him. That I think too much about money and that he also wants the best for me. I was so upset that, in the end, I wrote to him that I wanted to talk on the phone, like a call. I was still hoping I could save everything. He reluctantly agreed to talk to me, and we are supposed to do that today, but he has directly said that he doesn’t think we should continue via text. My mom has told me to break up with him during the call. I end up having to talk to him today, but I have no idea what to do or say? My mom says I should drop him now because she doesn’t like him. I dont know what to tell him anymore

FML. Why do I do this? (Story time)

by thespicymango

February 3rd

...See more I am a sensitive guy. I don't fall for people often, but when I do I am completely magnetised to them. A recent experience became a painful reminder of why I need to change this before it literally turns me into a stone cold a**hole. So last year I left a long term relationship due to significant differences in life aspirations, and I felt good about it - like a new chapter was beginning. Shortly after, and without meaning to, I met a girl in America during a business trip (I'm from the UK but go there a lot). This girl and I didn't start with any intentions, in fact it was a one-night stand. That night led to a couple more meet ups (walks in the park, dinner in the city etc) before I had to go back home. When I left, I decided to stay in contact with her - she was super cute, nice to spend time with, her dog LOVED me, and we clearly vibed together - so we kept talking. Some weeks later I get a text that she's PREGNANT (I had been her only sexual partner in 6 months, so definitely mine). That was a massive curveball, and we decided it was best to get an abortion. That was immensely hard on both of us, but more so her due to the fact she had to go through with it without anyone there to support (I 100% would have gone if I could get there soon enough). That experience definitely brought us closer together, and I booked a flight to go back to her city. I may have lied and said it was for business, but really I just wanted to see her again. Anyway this was 2 months after the abortion, and we met again a week ago. It was great, like nothing had changed, and I stayed over at her apartment - amazing. We planned to go on dates and had a whole list of things to do before I left. Then she had to go home to her parents for the weekend, and I waited to see her again. She would text me things like "I miss you" and "When I get back I'm locking you in my apartment" (a joke, but cute flirting) When she got back she invited me over, tired from the drive. I didn't mind, I just wanted to be with her. She fell asleep cuddling me, and I really felt like I had something real here. It was what I had hoped for. The next thing I know, she wakes up and we start to watch a new TV series we were going to binge together that night - she then tells me she doesn't feel great, gets really distant, and starts ignoring me entirely by going on her phone and not engaging with me at all. I got anxious and confused, and then (maybe stupidly) asked her "So, are you talking to anyone else rn?" She got a little weirded out by my question and said she's not sure what she wants and that we live far away blah blah blah... I know what that means... The feeling in the air completely changes and it's awkward, so I'm sat there distraught and trying to be calm amidst this unfamiliar discomfort with a girl who until a few hours ago was all over me. She gets upset and says "This feels to awkward and I feel like I want to cry". I said I was sorry and hugged her because I didn't mean to make her feel like that. She then says a little while later that she'd like to be alone tonight. I immediately packed my stuff and left because I was about ready to break down and didn't want to face this situation. A few days later, and after going back to her parents for a few days and asking me to leave her be, I reached out to try and rekindle things. She tells me she isn't ready for a relationship, her mental health and hormones are all over the place and that this wasn't actually anything. I confronted her on how she told me all the things about missing me, wanting me. telling me "This just feels right", etc she apologised, and now I'm here in her city alone wondering wtf I did wrong. I can't stop crying and wishing it wasn't happening. I risked a lot to come here and it's blown up in my face. have no one in this city, and still a lot of time until I leave, so I guess I should make the most of my solo adventure even though it's not what I wanted. Moral of the story: Don't be too caring, and don't take people's words as truth, because it'll be taken for granted, and you'll be left broken.

Need advice

by intelligentCar2417

February 3rd

My GF is upset that I went to grab a cup of coffee with a female friend

by portugueseGuy1998

February 2nd

...See more Hey, guys! I'm new to this kind of things, but I feel like I have no one else to resort to in this matter. I will try to explain and give you the full context. So, I'm a 26-year-old straight male and my girlfriend is also 26 and straight. We met in high-school and have been dating since then, with a slight hiccup of a one-year break-up a couple of years ago. So, basically we've been together for 9 to 10 years, around that. We've had relationship trust issues before, with cases such as her lying about her medical conditions or me lying about still interacting with women I've felt attracted for before. We've moved past beyond that for like 4 or 5 years now and haven't had any kind of trust issues ever since. There was, however, this one time when I had a really close female best friend that she was actually okay with: but one time, my sister only invited my best friend to her birthday party - and not my girlfriend - which made her super mad (which I totally understand) and asked me to never be friends with this best friend again. It cost me a lot, but what I have with my girlfriend is really precious and I felt she was kind of humilliated in this scenario, so I complied. Fast forward to today, I was talking to her and ocasionally dropped that I was grabbing a cup of coffee with this female friend of mine later that day. This person is a friend of mine, with whom I had collaborated in a youth politics project a couple of years ago. I hadn't talked to her for 2 years or so, but we randomly bumped with each other a couple of months and since then she asked me if I wanted to grab a cup of coffee with her to catch up. I know this may seem odd, but just to be sure I wasn't being misled or giving the wrong signals, I checked on her socials and she was basically "married" for already 5 or 6 years: she had a fiancé. But still, just to make sure, I went to this coffee meet-up with another friend, to make sure I was perceiving that as a normal, friends hook-up. We only did this like 2 or 3 times the past 8 months, it's always a quick "check-up" and I make sure it never goes beyond this kind of activities, so as to not cross any socially-accepted (and even heteronormative) boundaries. I love my girlfriend more than anything and no thought of being with someone else has ever crossed my mind. So, back again to today, as soons as I told my girlfriend about this (via text), her posture totally changed. Even though I already had told her about this friend of mine, and even about the coffee meet-ups, this time she behaved in a totally different way. She started making inquisitory questions and even assumed she had never heard about her, even dropping a: "Oh, I'm sure I'd remember you talking about having a cup of coffee with a woman". I felt disrespected and even untrusted. I felt she didn't trust me and that she was pointing I was hiding something from her - even though I was totally open about it! So the argument didn't start right away, but she was giving me this short, skeptical responses, and, for about 2 days, we didn't even speak with each other. Also, it doesn't matter much, in my opinion, but I ended up not meeting with this female friend of mine, but only because some late work stuff of hers made it impossible for us to meet up. Anyways, two days passed and I was waiting for any text or call from hers saying she had overreacted, to be honest. But no, her text was kind of shifting the blame, saying it was my fault that I didn't tranquilize her about this. Which I found very odd, because I had explained her everything there was to explain. Then, she told me her reaction was totally normal, which was to find it weird that I was meetin up with a person that, until 8 months ago, wasn't even a close friend. I said I understood that concern, but that it also felt random for me, but that this kind of meet-ups always felt friendly and normal to me. Once again, I treid to never cross any "coffee meet-up" boundaries. Later on, my girlfriend further explained these feeling of her, sayint that I was totally in the wrong, because "coffee meet-ups with a member of the opposite gender is totally wrong" and that I had "crossed the relationship boundaries", to my surprise. I was always open with her, sincere and honest, to keep this trust in this relationship up high. But I feel like this untrustful behavior of her is not justified and actually sadly surprinsing from her, since we've always been open - minimally progressive, in other terms - to have friends from the opposite gender. She says I am totally wrong and that I hurt her feelings, even though I not only was always honest with her, but I also feel I haven't crossed any reasonable boundaries... Basically, even when looking to what has happened before, I feel like I can't have any female friends - at least, not in a "group-of-friends-meet-up context". And since I already had to give up a friendship before, I stand even more hurt by this stance of hers... So, please, help me out here, I don't know what to do...

Things were going well until he blocked me on Snapchat

by gentlePine3110

January 24th

...See more I was friends with this guy on Reddit. We started talking a lot. Then we became friends on *** last Wednesday for more consistent conversations and from there fwb since I didn't want commitment. Things were going great. Up until Saturday. We have different time zones and I panicked as to why he didn't respond to me. Turns out he had work. Which made since because at 3:00 pm for me which was his wake up time,assuming he went to work around 4 pm then got home around 12:46 on my time it made since considering he worked an 8 hour full time job. But the next day Sunday was no different. He said he would be busy until next Friday. Monday due to my PTSD and fear of being ghosted I logged out of *** and took the day off for myself. Tuesday came,I checked my message which was in response to asking him if we'll have any time to talk. He basically said no. So then I responded with I think we should just be friends without the benefits because even though I know you're not ghosting me your inconsistency in messaging is stressing me out. Wednesday morning when I checked again he said he was really sorry and that he didn't intend for this. I said it was okay and it wasn't his fault that I have PTSD from fear of being ghosted and that I want us to still be friends because I care about him. But then I think I said something like "but we can't have this connection anymore". I don't know because it wouldn't let me see the messages. He might have taken this as a misunderstanding, if I did say that, as I want nothing to do with him. Thursday morning,today when I went to go check to see his response he blocked me. We're still friends on Reddit,I assume he forgot to block me on there too. I don't know if I should ask him if it was a misunderstanding or get back at him for hurting me by blocking him on there. I feel like it's my fault for poor choice of wording if that's what I said and I don't know if he did it as a way to "protect me" or out of anger. I cried about it,just cried about it again recently. I feel so confused and hurt. I really liked his personality and even though we couldn't be fwb due to my stress and PTSD I still wanted him in my life even if that meant just friends. Sorry I know this was a rant. I need help.

Need Advice Please

by StingRaye

January 24th

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