Is my relationship salvageable or should we give up?
I've been with my boyfriend for over 2 yrs, and the whole time he's accused me of "being slick" even when I never had "slick intentions." Until a month ago when I cheated. I knew he was doing something behind my back for weeks but after I cheated I found out he had been doing drugs behind my back for months not cheating like I thought. We have terrible communication skills but still want to try to work things out. The only problem is he's started a new job and is focused on making a name for himself so he can't focus on our relationship right now. How long do I wait for him to have time for us? Or should we just quit now?
@Jenruntn
Let me see if I understand. You thought something was off in your boyfriend's actions and you assumed that he was cheating. And because you believed that he was cheating, you decided to cheat yourself. You recognise that as a couple you have some communication issues. At the moment your boyfriend wants to focus on his career and you are wondering how long you should wait or whether to break up now.
I find that when I'm struggling to make a decision, it is normally because there are some feelings getting in the way. I can't help noticing that what you share is very factual. Maybe it might be useful to look at the feelings behind some of those facts? I find completing sentences like the following helpful:
I'm angry because...
I'm sad because...
I'm disappointed because...
I'm afraid of.... etc
Having done this with a few feelings, I then find it easier to complete "I want...", which then helps me make my decision.
Of course, what helps me, might not help you. I wish you all the best regardless.
@Jenruntn
That sounds incredibly tough. It's understandable you're feeling lost. Two years, the accusations, the hurt on both sides, and now his focus on his new job, it's a lot to handle. It sounds like you're at a crossroads, wondering whether to wait or move on. What "being slick" means in your relationship?"
@Jenruntn
Well, there is a lot that you have to process in a short period of time, and that could be really overwhelming and overstimulating. A good thing is that you have acknowledged that you and your partner have a communication breakdown and are willing to try and fix that; however the situation took a turn that you were not expecting and that has left you in a crossroad. how are you guys doing now, did you decide to leave or stay?
@Jenruntn
