how do i handle a break up
Hello,
I am currently going through the hardest time of my life, my bf of 7.5 months broke up with me, ik it might not seem like alot but he was my first everything. we ended it on good terms, he said he dosent feel capable of a relationship, and that he hates the fact he cant give me back what im giving him. he also said things like he‘ll never forget me, he‘ll always love me and he promised he‘d try to change and comeback. we are in no contact since around 2 weeks, he just recently unadded me almost everywhere and it hurt. the day of the breakup and the day after the breakup, we were both a mess, we both cried alot and talked about our feelings. after those two days he just became so cold, honestly we were staying in contact for a bit longer because i felt like i couldnt function without him, his coldness hurt me so so much, and after he unadded me almost everywhere it felt like he hates me or cant stand me for some reason, i keep checking his socials which i know is bad for me, im really working on that and ive seen improvements in the past 2 days!!
any help would be really appriciated, thank you for reading! <3
I know exactly how you feel because I’ve been in a similar situation. When the person you love the most walks away, especially when you’ve given them everything, it feels like your entire world collapses. My story was different—she was older, married, and had kids—but the pain of losing someone you love deeply is the same.
When she left, she said it was for my own good, that I had a future ahead of me, that she wanted me to be happy. But how do you find happiness when the person who was your happiness is gone? Like you, I held on to the last moments, the promises, the words like “I’ll always love you” and “I’ll never forget you.” At first, I believed them. But then came the silence. The coldness. The distance. And it tore me apart.
I checked her socials constantly, just like you’re doing now. Every time I saw her moving on with her life, it felt like a knife in my heart. I wondered if she ever missed me the way I missed her. I wondered if she ever cried at night like I did. And when she finally cut me off completely, I felt like I didn’t exist anymore.
But here’s what I learned: when someone chooses to leave, you have to let them. No matter how much it hurts, no matter how much you want them to come back, chasing someone who has already decided to walk away will only break you more. Right now, he’s dealing with his own emotions in his own way, and the coldness isn’t because he hates you—it’s because he’s trying to detach. It hurts like ***, but sometimes people do that to protect themselves.
You’re already showing strength by recognizing that checking his socials is hurting you and making an effort to stop. That’s a huge step. I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but you will get through this. One day, you’ll wake up, and he won’t be the first thing on your mind. One day, you’ll realize you haven’t checked his profile in weeks. And one day, you’ll love again—not because you need to, but because you’ve healed enough to let someone in.
Until then, take it one step at a time. Feel the pain, but don’t let it consume you. You’re not alone in this. I’m going through it too, and if I can survive it, so
can you.
oh my god thank you so much for your reply, i didnt even realize someone replied to me.
since i wrote that ive been feeling a bit better. he’s blocked me almost everywhere now but i guess thats his way of coping.
your reply amazed me so much, and im so sorry you had to go through that. i hope you’re doing better now!!
@deniiii333
I’m really glad to hear you’re feeling a bit better. Healing isn’t a straight road—it’s more like a rollercoaster designed by someone who clearly had no regard for safety regulations. One day, you feel okay, the next day, you're questioning life over a cup of coffee. And that's okay.
Blocking you might be his way of coping, but that doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t valid. Just remember: someone’s inability to appreciate you doesn’t define your worth. You are not a side character in someone else's story—you’re the main character, and this is just a plot twist, not the ending.
Also, if you ever need a distraction or just someone to talk to who won’t randomly block you (I promise I don’t do that), I’m here. Life’s too short for bad conversations. Who knows? I might even be funnier over the phone..
@deniiii333
Heyy I just saw this and the timing is so accurate... I hope you're doing somewhat fine now because I really want to feel that too after a few days... Im going through a similar situation right now but for me it's the day 2 of the break up and its like my heart is tearing itself apart... We had a good healthy relationship for 2.6 years until she got a job opportunity some 2000 miles away... It was hard at first it really was...she was clingy and had been so attached to me but now since she got a busy life she's not having enough time for me and I became more insecure too...this was having a toll on the relationship and for both of us... We were just drifting further and further apart... I gave in my all I showered her with my love and attention and I promised to be better but she felt as though she was just drifting further... Nothing I could do anymore... We ended last night and we both said we loved one another one last time and to cherish our memories together...we still haven't removed each other socials and so I find myself looking at her profile and getting anxious if she had moved on... I feel miserable and hurt...
But hey idk if this would be any help but I think when we really love someone we give all of ourselves to them we put so much of ourselves to them that we forget our own value...
I like to believe that you did what you can, and you've been a great person... You really loved them and your feelings were real... Ik how much you must've cared for them but if the other side don't see the value in you and don't appreciate the work you're putting in... What else can you do but just let them miss out on your greatness...
This journey isn’t easy. I’m still feeling the heavy ache of loss and the sting of unspoken words. But I’m beginning to see that sometimes, the greatest love we can ever have is the love we show ourselves. And if by sharing my story, I can help someone else feel a little less alone, then maybe this pain isn’t entirely wasted.
I'm proud of you... You really did your best and you truly loved
Hey,
I‘m so sorry to hear that you’re going through that, i know you probably heard this millions of times but it‘ll get better with time, it really will. just 3 weeks ago i was still thinking that my life is over and ill never get over him. but now im way better! back then i felt like itll never get better, like ill be stuck forever feeling like this but time heals so much! one day you‘ll realize "wait, things have actually been feeling better" and no matter what things look like rn, that day will come! i wish you much strenght, i know you can do this. if you need someone to talk to, you can message me whenever!!
@deniiii333
I didn't know you replied... It's been some days now and I'm trying to do better... The emotions and feelings are coming in waves...
Someday I feel better and I'm ready to take on life but the next moment I'm drowned by the memories of us and regrets...
I'm still recovering but thank you for your kind words I really do hope it gets better over time...
@deniiii333, be thankful in a way that it happened now and not 20 years later. My husband is acting like he hates his life since he’s going through some emotional and mental health things and I’m trying to survive each day.
Give it time and the feelings will dissipate. You’ll got this!
Hi not to make things about me but I myself broke up with my girlfriend of only 6 months. we dident end on good term sadly. It will take time it’s now been 3 months for me. I don’t say it will take that long for u but it’s normal it takes time even if it’s a short relationship. I still feel like I can’t function without her. And I’m sure he isent as cold as you think, what I’ve heard and experienced myself that the 2 days after he broke up he was a mess then he really try talking him into it was the right decision and become what seems to be fine, like he’s coping that he dident ruin something good. But I promise he will be sad for longer then 2 days and if he isent he surely dident love you and I don’t say that to make you sad but to tell you that it might have been a good result, so you can find someone who loves you. Hope you can resolve things faster then me 🤞🤞 have a good life
@deniiii333
i feel sad to know how you feel. But on the brighter side be thankful he is honest with you and did not waste your time loving him when it’s not reciprocated. Now you have a new opportunity to experience love. Sometimes somethings don’t stay because we deserve better.