Debunking Myths & Challenging Misconceptions: Self-Harm
Hello everyone,
This post is part of Self-Harm Awareness Week: Healing Through Self-Compassion & Connection (March 6th - 10th). Today, we will be focusing on the myths and misconceptions related to Self-harm (SH).
SH is a complex issue that is often misunderstood, and that leads to harmful myths and misconceptions. These misconceptions perpetuate stigma, prevent people from reaching out and seeking help, and hinder support and comfort for them. So, this discussion is focused on discussing these myths, spread awareness, and encouraging one to reach out and share to get all the support they deserve.
Some of the common myths are
- Self-harm is attention-seeking. However, that is not true. Often, SH is a way to cope with overwhelming emotional pain, not a desire for attention.
- Self-harm is a sign of weakness. But in reality, SH is often a sign of intense emotional distress, not weakness. It takes courage to acknowledge and address these struggles.
- If you ignore it, it will go away. But that is untrue. It requires a lot of encouragement and support, including professional help. Ignoring it is not the solution to healing from SH.
- There is only one form of SH, which is, again, a misconception. SH includes various behaviors and other forms of self-injury.
What are your thoughts on these? Have you encountered other myths or misconceptions? Let's share and discuss it here!
SH is attention-seeking.- I think that even when somebody might think that, they have to know that it is still an issue and the person is still in pain. The fact that someone thinks that it is attention-seeking is not a solution to the problem it doesn't mean you can dismiss a persons problems using that as an excuse.
Also for me. For the longest time my brain told me i was attention-seeking by SHing when i didn't even tell anyone about it. Absolutely no one knew, i hid it well. Idk why i had that thought.
@neonKiwi9963 I agree with you, Neon. You shared such an important point. Even if someone thinks it is attention-seeking, that doesn't negate the underlying pain. And for sure that is never an excuse to dismiss someone's struggle and challenges. Thank you for sharing your own experience. You deserve compassion, not dismissal—especially from yourself. Please know you are not alone in these feelings. We are all here to listen t and support you.
@ASilentObserver
SH is ABSOLUTELY NOT attention-seeking! If it were, why would we be so adamant about hiding it from others? I believe SH has many reasons behind it, in my case, when I was overwhelmed with guilt I would hit myself in the legs with a hairbrush until it bled. In my pre-teen and teen years, it was because my dad had always told me that I deserved to be punished, but that I was lucky that I had such a nice dad because I deserved a good beating, even with small mistakes, and especially if his creepy friends or relatives brought my mistakes or imperfections to his attention-it was embarrassing to him because he expected me to be perfection, he believed that I, as his only daughter, was a reflection on his success or failure and any mistake I made just showed people that he had somehow failed. No allowances for learning by doing or learning from mistakes. I guess I was supposed to have been born perfect and knowing everything. So I started feeling such guilt over everything that I would punish myself the way he said I deserved, and after I drew blood I felt as if I could let it go because I had been punished sufficiently for being imperfect or disappointing. Later, when I gained weight, I would beat myself for failing as a human being, because I wasn't perfect like the women on TV. It takes a lot of work to get past SH.
@HiddenSwan25 Thank you for sharing your experience with us, Swan. You articulated perfectly that self-harm is a complex response to deep emotional pain, not a bid for attention. I am sorry you have been on a difficult journey, and I appreciate all the steps you took to address these challenges. You are so right that it does take a lot of work. We are all here to listen to and support you.
I have a completely different perspective of SH which may or may not relate with the forum discussed here.
I think SH is the last thing a person thinks of. If a person opts for SH that means all the prior solutions or things didn't work and surroundings, people, situation, circumstances has pushed to this limit. When a person is going through a tough situation or stress it should be addressed and whatever possible help should be provided. Nowadays people are aware about mental problems, stress, therapy etc what we need is understanding to handle and address. Just one word at the right time can change others approach and perspective to handle the problem/situation. They may find the hope back to live and resolve. SH is not something people do for attention or consciously. They know what the consequences still choose at the end to do. We need the tolerance and empathy, non-judgmental approach to help people going through SH thoughts or have already harmed self and trying to find their way back,not just in our community but also in society.
I apologise if this post causes any inconvenience, hurt anyone. My purpose was to highlight few things, that's all.
Thankyou.
@NSYHJTJBTS Thank you for sharing your perspective NSY. I agree with you that self-harm often stems from deep pain and a sense of hopelessness, and it needs to be approached with gentleness and no judgement. You highlighted addressing underlying issues, providing support, and recognizing that even a small act of kindness can make a big difference. We appreciate you for sharing this with us.
@NSYHJTJBTS
ABSOLUTELY!
@NSYHJTJBTS
I agree that self-harm is an attempt to solve a problem. I actually see my period of self harm as progress from what came before. In my case it was an attempt to counter the dismissing and diminishing of my problem. It was a statement that, no, this was real, this was big, and it needed and deserved recognition. It was an attempt to validate to myself that I was hurting.
Love to anyone that is self harming.
Thankyou everyone for the appreciation.
SH is not just limited to physical one, it is also emotional and mental turmoil a person is going through. During this period we harm our energy, motivation, health, thoughts, inshort everything. I was going through tough period that wasn't my mistake. I had to go through this emotional rollercoaster because i trusted a friend. This period made me realise that what i had gone through in 2 weeks has impacted my life negatively. What i was doing to avoid the pain was also SH and harmed my health, work everything. Thankfully 7 cups community and some other sources helped me to address this thing and heal. Currently i am healing and realised what i was doing to myself, how to make things better for myself.
Whoever is going through tough period or SH situation please take help may it be friends, our community, therapy or anywhere you trust. We cannot figure out everything on our own specially in times like this. Trust me I was doing the same and was going in circles, falling deep. The day i took help my energy shifted 360 degree. I hope this helps.
@NSYHJTJBTS
It definitely does. Thank you for that post.
@NSYHJTJBTS also p.s so beautifully put
@NSYHJTJBTS SH is such a tricky thing to understand especially the deep intense reasonings and feelings surrounding it by each individual. It is a call for help regardless if these reasonings or feelings seem valid to anyone but that person. I feel like (yes easier said than done) it should be something taught in schools. how to manage emotions and communicate with others during this time, and learn how to talk and ask for help. The solutions and help I feel should be focused on more.
@diligentPhoenix9601
Thanks for mentioning this. I agree it should be taught in school. I shared what i myself experienced and learnt from others experience. What they felt would have helped them or stopped them from SH. We are here to explore and learn from others experiences and sharing ours too. This is how we grow.
@diligentPhoenix9601
Phoenix, absolutely. I have a friend who always says that "love" should be taught in schools as part of the regular required curriculum. I think what he actually means is empathy and unconditional love, patience, etc. Instead of concentrating on where a school can "earn" the most funding, I wish they would concentrate more on those subjects above, the rest would follow naturally if the students didn't have so much stress and fear in their lives and especially in school.
