Self Punishment〡TW: Self Harm
Trigger Warning: Self-harm.
Have you ever punished yourself physically?
It may sound strange, and a distant topic. However there are lot of people who are struggling with it. Nevertheless, beating yourself up isn’t healthy, solve anything, or improve behavior. Research has proven that it has a profound negative impact on our mental health, social interactions, and physical well-being. You are more precious than you think, friend. People also tend to punish themselves emotionally. For instance, by saying “You are a total failure” to themselves after falling a test.
Why Do People Have These Thoughts?
- Pain releases dopamine, which temporarily numbs emotional pain.
- Sense of control: Psychological studies show that holding ourselves accountable for mistakes can create an illusion of control—believing we can change outcomes by altering our behavior. Unfortunately, this is rarely the case.
- Past trauma: If you grew up in an abusive environment, self-punishment may have been normalized or learned behavior.
- Mental illness
- High/unrealistic standards for oneselves
Why It’s Harmful?
- Addiction risk: Self-harm can become addictive and cause lasting psychological and physical damage.
- Avoids root causes: Punishment—whether directed at children or oneself—fails to address underlying issues (e.g., procrastination may stem from perfectionism or overwhelm).
- Escalates guilt: Self-punishment often exacerbates feelings of shame.
- False relief: Physical pain triggers chemicals that mask emotional pain, but this is not true punishment.
- Can affect relationship with friends, and family.
Reasons To Stop Self Punishment
- You deserve kindness: You are a resilient being who has navigated challenges. Treat yourself with the love and respect you deserve.
- Legitimacy of harm: Past mistreatment does not justify continuing cycles of self-harm.
- Healing through self-compassion: Loving yourself is the most effective way to transform your circumstances.
- Imperfection is human: Mistakes are universal—they do not define your worth.
- The longer you ignore it, the more difficult it becomes to change.
Alternatives To Try
- Journal: Write down triggers and events from a third-person perspective to process emotions. Try to be compassionate, writing about yourself like you would with a friend.
- Positive affirmations: Repeat phrases like “I am enough” to reinforce self-compassion.
- Mindfulness: Practice short meditations or take a walk to ground yourself.
- Self-soothe: Hug yourself gently or verbally forgive yourself.
- Reach out: Contact local hotlines, trusted loved one, or even an AI chatbox.
Conclusion
Buddy, perhaps no one has told you this, but you are extraordinary. I cannot fathom the pain you’ve endured or the burdens you carry today. Yet I am endlessly proud of you—for seeking support, for choosing hope, and for moving forward.
May life cradle you gently. May loved ones hold you close in struggle. May you find acceptance and unwavering support on your journey.
Sending you warmth and strength.
(The author is unauthorized to give a diagnosis, if you wish to receive proper help, please do so with authorized specialist. And 7 Cups is not a crisis platform. If you are having intense thoughts about harming yourself, please logo off and reach out to : https://help.7cups.com/hc/en-us/articles/360026238093-Crisis)
@Bearainy
Great and detailed post!
I just wanted to add a few things:
1. Don't let people make you feel like a freak if you're struggling with self-harm. Self-harm is a coping strategy, a way to cling to life, even if it isn't healthy. You don't need more shame while you're already struggling. You've just got to take it one self-harm free day at a time and try to leave the self-harm behind like an old friend that meant well, but you've outgrown now. You are still worthy as you are now, scars and all.
2. People get addicted to self-harm because it releases a burst of endorphins. Endorphins are your body's pain killers and they also relieve stress and boost feelings of well-being. When you self-harm, you're forcing those chemicals to activate- but there are alternative ways to activate those same chemicals, like: punching a pillow, eat something spicy, eat dark chocolate, sing aggressively, squeeze hug a pillow, hold ice cubes, run or lift weights, watch something funny, snap a rubber band against your wrist.
3. I like your alternatives! I just wanted to add a few more:
-Draw on yourself.
-Take a hot or cold shower.
-Put bandages over where you want to harm.
-Count your scars. You've got to at least wait that many days until you can self-harm again.
-Paint your nails a blood color.
-Paint red on yourself.
-Henna.
-Temporary tattoos.