Why does my family member make fun of me in front of others at gatherings and get togethers?
I feel like family members could be fake nice infront of your face, but behind your back or when there are other people around their demeanor can change and their true colors show.
Last get together I was it with my family member I heard one making fun of me behind my back and later on in front of my face. He did this when everyone else was there and I had little time to react because of how quickly he changed the subject.
It's incredible how ones true colors can change that quickly almost as if it was planned to target and pick on me from the very start. From the beginning I have noticed that family members like to pick and choose me every opportunity they get.
@helloRaspberries2172
People like that IMO are insecure and feel picking on you somehow elevates themselves ... it doesn't
it hurts to find out someones true colors sometimes but do not run away from these situations it is a growth opportunity for all. I stood up in a situation similar.
I told them " if making fun of me makes you feel better you must be suffering, and for those who chose to listen to this how very immature of you" no one ever said a thing again and those who were listening to the backstabbing making fun of me always since have disengaged from gossip and playing petty games.
@helloRaspberries2172
Hi Raspberries💗
I'm really sorry you're feeling this way especially when it comes to your family. It sounds incredibly painful to feel like you're being treated one way when people are in front of you, only to see their true colors behind your back. That kind of behavior can leave you feeling really hurt and confused, especially when it's coming from people who are supposed to be there for you! It must be so frustrating to feel like you're being picked on or targeted and I can understand why that would leave you feeling isolated or unsupported.
Oftentimes, people act in ways that seem hurtful or inconsistent because of their own insecurities, jealousy, or even issues they may have that they haven't dealt with. It's possible that they are behaving that way out of a need for the attention or to feel better about themselves, even though it ends up hurting others. But it doesn't make it right, and it's absolutely okay for you to feel upset about their actions.
I can't imagine how difficult it must be to deal with this especially since family relationships are supposed to be a source of support. Have you had a chance to talk to them about how this makes you feel, or would that feel to risky or difficult at this point? Sometimes, addressing the issue head-on can help but I totally understand if you're not ready for that yet. I'm here to listen to whatever you need to share, and I really hope you can find a way to feel heard and valued by those around you.💗
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Some people are just mean like that unfortunately. My family used to do that for a very long time, and according to them they were "just joking around". Sometimes people don't realise the damage words can cause... Don't listen to them too much. Anyone acting like that doesn't deserve your attention.
They pretend!!!! Tough times will show you their true colors. Let them know how you feel & set boundaries!
@helloRaspberries2172 I am sorry they didn't this to you, a reflection on their character and not on yours. For some strange reason family members say the most hurtful things, rude above it and you keep being you, don't let their insecurities and rudeness bring you down 😊
@Amanda84 sorry rise above it.
@helloRaspberries2172
Raspberries, I am so sorry you are going through this, it must be devastating. I know because I was the family scapegoat during my growing up years and it intensified during my teens. I can imagine your grief when you "catch" a family member doing this. Sending hugs. You are not at all what they want you or others to believe, they are projecting their own insecurities and perceived failures onto others. They probably do it to many, but you are feeling the brunt of it. You are worthy. You are strong. You are you! 🫂
The older generation can sometimes behave like this in family gatherings. It's usually to entertain themselves or because of how they themselves were treated when they were young or that they feel younger people are inferior and respect them. There can numerous reasons. However It often creates a toxic cycle that continues across generations. Family conflicts or unresolved issues can fuel these behaviors, making the dynamics even more difficult to navigate. It's important to recognise when you're in an environment where you're being treated poorly. In such situations, distancing yourself can be a healthy decision to protect your mental and emotional well-being. You don’t need to tolerate negative behavior just because it’s family. It's okay to prioritise your peace and step away from toxic dynamics.
@crispFlamingo3800
In my case it wasn't so much the older generation-it was my cousins, my peers.
@HiddenSwan25 It’s even more frustrating when it’s coming cousins, because they should be the ones who understand and support you. They could be making fun of you Jealousy or Insecurity . Some people put others down because they feel insecure about themselves. Family Patterns making fun of someone has been normalised in your family the Lack of Respect and Boundaries or are starved for attention. No matter the reason, it’s not okay, and you don’t have to tolerate it. You deserve respect, and if they can’t give you that, distancing yourself or calling them out.