Sibling enstrangement
Hello community members,
I am unsure how to deal with a situation and looking for some friendly helpful advice.
My brother has fallen out with the family because we were unable to help them financially with a situation (amongst other things). We did all we could but it was not enough. There was already difficulties because their partner does not like us (no idea why, when asked the reply is "they just don't"). My brother is quite a bully and blames me and the parents for what feels like everything that goes wrong for them. They have a child which we are not allowed to see and my brother was in hospital very ill recently (4+ wks) and we were not told by the partner. I found out bumping into one of their friends in the shops. We were blocked on everything which made reaching out difficult. So I sent an email and that got returned with abuse. I / we have tried to move past the issue into a healthy space but they want us to accept the blame for something we had no part in. So I said something along the lines of "we will own and apolgise for what we have done if you can do the same and we can move forward".....they hung up and its been 5 months. I am at a loss. They are alienating us from the childs life for what I and the extended family feel is very immature behaviour, and that child is losing half a family because of it. It has been very hurtful.
Any ideas??
Hey, @IntrovertedOldSoul, I feel for you 
It's hard for me to reach out to my siblings who are closed-off emotionally. I want them to know that I'm there for them even if they don't want to open-up to me, but I can't even tell them that because they'll look at me funny. I just continue praying for them and continue to treat them with love and respect. I don't know why they are the way they are, but God knows why, so I just trust Him that He's working on their hearts.
@friendlySkies6250 Thank you for your input I relly appreciate it, it helps alot. Thank you
my adoptive brother started going down a path my mom wasn’t okay with, he moved out got a boyfriend and didn’t text me for about 6 months.then i texted him on his birthday he responded ,but my feelings were still hurt.Then on a random November(his birthday is in September) he checked in with me ,I was so hurt about the situation i didn’t respond.Then came my birthday he texted i never responded.i feel i didn’t do the right thing not texting him back but i am only 15 and he’s much older so i feel like i can’t ask my mom if i can text him because they are still no contact
@IntrovertedOldSoul
Hello Soul💗💗
I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this. It sounds like an incredibly emotional situation, especially when it feels like you're being blamed for things that aren't your fault, and when you're being shut out of your brother's life and the child's life. I can understand how hurtful it must be to feel like you've done everything you could, yet still end up being this distanced, especially when you had no part in the issues. Family dynamics can be really complicated, and when someone's partner doesn't like you, it can make things even harder. I can see why you're feeling at a loss after trying so hard to move forward in a healthy way only to be met with rejection and anger.
You can continue to offer support while respecting boundaries they've set, it's important to let your brother and his partner know that you're still there for them if they ever want to reconnect it could be a simple message expressing your ongoing support like " I understand you're upset right now, but I want you to know that I'm here if you ever want to talk or need anything."
Five months of silence must feel like I really long time soul, and I hear how much you care about the family and want to move past this. It's painful to be in a situation where you feel like you're being punished for something you had no part in, and it's not easy to let go of that kind of hurt. Do you feel like there's any way forward from here, or do you feel stuck in this space? It might take time for them to process everything but I really hope you and your family can find a path to healing even if it feels difficult right now.💗💗