Are you ready to engage with diverse perspectives?

Hey lovely friends,

How is everyone doing? I hope you're well. I wanted to take a moment to share something I’ve been reflecting on lately after recent conversations and going through the IDG course. 

One of the things I love most about this community is how warm and welcoming it is. Whether we’re here as listeners or as people seeking support, we all do our best to approach others with empathy, kindness, and a non-judgmental mindset. Many of us even have spent time learning about open-mindedness, practicing active listening, and embracing diverse perspectives. I have learned so much about our world since coming here. But even with our best intentions, I’ve started to wonder: Are we truly expanding our understanding, or are we just reinforcing what already feels safe and familiar.

I ask this not as a critique, but as something to explore together where we might still have blind spots. 

Illusion of Open-Mindedness

I used to believe that because I followed diverse voices, read from multiple sources, and engaged in conversations across different viewpoints, I was truly considering “all the sides.” But I’ve come to realize that we sometimes unconsciously filter out those that challenge our core beliefs. It is natural to gravitate towards people, news articles, podcasts, and groups that share similar values and beliefs as us. So engaging in something that is very different is uncomfortable. 

Confirmation bias is sneaky. It convinces us that we’re engaging critically when really, we’re selectively reinforcing what already feels comfortable. The more emotionally invested we are in a topic, whether it’s politics, social justice, or personal relationships, the harder it becomes to see beyond our own self. I’m sure you can relate and apply that to something that you are very passionate about. 

Real Perspective-Taking is Uncomfortable

It’s natural to want to defend our views. They’ve been shaped over time by our experiences, values, and the voices we trust. But in our eagerness to tell our side, we often miss the opportunity to truly understand someone else. Real perspective-taking isn’t just about exposure to different opinions; it’s about sitting in discomfort. It means resisting the urge to correct or convince, admitting we might be wrong, and recognizing that our worldview, no matter how deeply held, is still just one way of seeing things. And that’s hard.

One thing that has helped me grow in this area is practicing active deep listening. Not listening just to respond, but to understand. It means pausing before I react, resisting the instinct to categorize an idea as “right” or “wrong,” and instead asking: What experiences led this person to see the world this way? I don’t have to agree or change my own beliefs, but I do have to be willing to engage with perspectives that challenge me. 

It can be hard to practice humility. To recognize that we don’t know everything and that our understanding is always evolving. But by recognizing that our knowledge has limits allows us to stay open to learning rather than clinging rigidly to what we already believe.

Respectful Dialogue

Engaging in meaningful conversations with people who hold different perspectives can be challenging, but it doesn’t have to be combative and full of conflict. One way to have more productive discussions is to seek out people who challenge us with new ideas while still respecting different viewpoints. Rather than engaging in extreme or polarizing debates, there are people that can help us explore nuances, expand our thinking, and find common ground. I know there are some people on cups who are great at exploring topics.

Another helpful approach is to ask open-ended questions rather than making quick judgments or direct statements. Instead of responding with statements like “That’s wrong” or “I disagree,” we can shift the conversation by asking, “What led you to feel this way?” or “Can you help me understand your perspective better?” This approach encourages curiosity and allows both people to engage in a more meaningful dialogue.

Finally, we need to know when to step back. Not every conversation will be productive, and that’s okay. If dialogue becomes heated, emotionally exhausting, or unhelpful, it’s okay to pause, take a breath, and revisit it later (if it’s worth continuing at all). Respectful dialogue doesn’t mean forcing agreement and knowing when its time to step away. 

Complexity Awareness

The IDG framework also highlights complexity awareness, which is important here. Life isn’t black and white. Most issues aren’t neatly divided into good and bad, right and wrong. And yet, we often reduce conversations to these simplistic terms because it’s easier, because nuance takes more effort.

The most transformative moments I’ve had weren’t when someone changed my mind completely, but when they helped me see the layers of complexity I had previously overlooked. When I realized that someone I disagreed with wasn’t just “wrong” but was coming from a place of lived experience I hadn’t considered.

No one is free from bias. We all see the world through the lens of our experiences. But true perspective taking requires ongoing effort, discomfort, and humility.

So I invite you to reflect with me: 

💙 What does true perspective-taking look like to you? 💙

💙 How can we practice and engage more deeply, not just with views that align with ours, but with those that challenge us? 💙