Why does this always happen to me?
Everytime I meet someone I like and we're into each other we start seeing each others for a while and I do my best to be open about my feelings, to make her feel welcome and safe but then in the end I always get told "sorry I don't see you that way, you're a good friend to me".
I don't have a problem with having female friends but damn I'm 28 and never been in a relationship.
I thought that I'd be more successful with the last encounter as she told me that she's looking for someone to settle down with, but despite treating her as I would with a potential future wife, in the end she told me that I'm like her brother now.
I'm really not one of those people who hate all women as a result of rejection. I despise people like Andrew tate and I actively advocate against them in my community, but sometimes it really seems that it's true that in order to have a woman want you, you have to treat her badly.
@rationalFarm4162
relationships and attraction and connection either happens or doesn't.
While being treated well is great it does not always lead to more .... I doubt many want to be treated badly .....
Many women do develop the friend/ brother zone....... when you are not clear you are looking for more or used as a polite way to tell someone that the spark that starts a relationship is just not there.
I understand that but in the examples I'm talking about attraction and connection were there, at least at the beginning.
What I don't understand is that if I've never been able to find someone to connect either I'm doing something wrong, and I'd like to know what, or the other possibilities is that I'm just unlikeable and there's no point in keep trying.
@rationalFarm4162
I am afraid the thing is very complicated. On one hand, "officially" and politically correct, women expect openess, honesty and safety, but on the other hand that make them lacking the thrill, the mystery and the "butterflies in their stomach" while meeting a creature who is totally different to them and thus strange in an attractive way.
Also, some women are subconsciously adapting codependency patterns from their childhood or previous relationships, so they prefer inaccessible men (drunk, based abroad, cheaters or married to someone else).
If you were raised in a very close emotional connection with your mother you can also have some female areas in your brain, and that can be the reason why you are seen as a "tiger with no teeth": great as a friend, but not attractive as a romantic male partner.
Or maybe you are too open, talk too much and expose yourself too early, what can make women feel confused or frightened? When you look "too good" at first glance they always expect you might be a serial killer or have some skeletons in your closet 😉
A woman you meet may check if you are free, independent and strong, or determined to fight for her, or if you are able to accept failure and take it with dignity.
Last but not least, when you feel scared of them, fearing another rejection, or angry and insecure about women, they often have a good intuition and tend to read your body language very well, knowing it before you wink.
Also a rule "a boy who is a friend of many cannot be a boyfriend for one" may apply...
But, in case you meet the person which is right for you, I believe you can forget most of the things I wrote above 😉
When somebody falls in love with you, she falls in love with you. And when she doesn't feel like that, all the rational explanations can be just empty excuses. There is no fire without a spark.
Some ideas: How do you feel around female friends from your workplace? Do you feel safe talking to them? What qualities in them you see and appreciate the most? Does it happen to you to behave/act different than they expect?
- @rationalFarm4162
You should move on. Chances are you don’t have much luck to begin with, women are only into men that are horrible to them. Ever wondered why women are always end up going back to their abusers, the fiends, the contagious boyfriends of their toxic relationship? It’s because women are only attracted to men that treat them like ***. If you’re one of those types of men that are good, trying to establish or build a relationship with a woman is not worth it, no matter how much you treat with respect, decency, or show that you love them. If that is you-you can forget about a romantic relationship a woman, there’s not point in trying, a lot of men are just gonna have to come to terms that they will be alone & loveless for the rest of our lives, considering that is the hand we are dealt with.
