Stop neglecting men
I helped create the now “men’s issues” group here a couple months ago on a different account. I deleted that account after enough frustration with people and listeners on here. I created one again because I need to voice this deeply troubling issue with the over arching 7 cups community and our contemporary culture more generally. STOP NEGLECTING MEN. We find it very easy to point out “insecure men”(which btw what a crazy way to generalize a group you’ve vilified in your head), but men have such a broad range of experience, trauma, and struggles that generalizing what men are and aren’t allowed to feel is deplorable and it’s something I see from EVERYONE. People who consider themselves “good people” people who are actively pursuing mental healthcare opportunities… everyone is refusing to empathize with men and boys who are being abused, neglected, isolated, bullied, etc. and I’m honestly pretty angry about it. I’ve been through many therapists in my efforts to deal with this who are also guilty. Men themselves are guilty of this issue. We have no system by which we can look at a man struggling and empathize with what he’s going through. I’m deeply disappointed in everyone on this site who has contributed to this. I’d put this on the men’s issues thread but then you wouldn’t read it and you’d go about your life assuming there’s nothing to worry about. I’m begging at this point. SOMETHING HAS TO CHANGE.
Almost everyome is a victim in my eyes. Can you tell me more about these situations? I would really love to learn and help you
@crimsonFarm7320
Thank you for sharing with us your frustrations and disappointment. I would like to understand as well. What happened that has you feeling neglected and ignored? I understand it's more than one scenario and event, but maybe if you shared some of the events, it could open the eyes to people who don't experience life from the male point of view. I want to learn and understand what people can do to be more inclusive and understanding of men and boys. If you feel comfortable sharing, I am interested in listening.
@FireflyWishes2025
@Theother172
@humangreed
@MaeMae99
I really appreciate the gesture here. Some of the things I'm personally dealing with are pretty sensitive, and I'm not sure i have the energy to go over them anymore. I just felt frustrated and wanted to people to know there's a gap in the way we think of mental health.
@crimsonFarm7320
Have a good day💖
I agree 💯
@crimsonFarm7320 I'm really sorry you had something so frustrating happen. I'm pretty new here so I'm not entirely sure how things work. Were people being dismissive in the group or was there no interest in people joining?
@crimsonFarm7320
It's disheartening to witness the way issues affecting men are often overlooked in discussions about gender equality. I've observed that there tends to be a quicker response and greater empathy when it comes to supporting women, while men’s challenges often receive less attention. This disparity is truly saddening, as it perpetuates a cycle of neglect for important male issues such as mental health, social stigma, and support for victims of violence. I'm really encouraged to see individuals who are willing to speak out on behalf of men and advocate for a more balanced approach to gender-related concerns. It’s crucial that we create a dialogue that addresses the unique struggles faced by all genders, ensuring that everyone feels heard and supported.
~MaeMae 💖
How do I join this group?
@Jrich7976
You can find it in the list of communities. If you're on browser it should be under the "Health and Well being" tab on the left
I strongly feel with this! I completely agree! men go through crap as well and I've always voiced that out, that not just woman have issues and have it hard, men also have it hard and probably a bit more tougher.. because of how they have to bottle up their emotions to be considered "manly" "strong" that if you show emotions you're weak and among many other things whereas for a woman them expressing how the feel isn't looked at any way and many also believe them because they're more "fragile". There's so men that have been abused, neglected, isolated etc I read of a true book written by the abused and he was muted since he was a kid treated like a pet and was abused in the most harshest ways the owlrd could ever do to a 5year old boy. The way the world wasn't even there for him is disgusting, no one knew what was happening and even if they did they done nothing about it. Men have it different than woman and that's a fact but it doesn't take away the fact that there are some cruel men out there too just as they are of woman I've experienced how woman can be nasty just as nasty as any men what a man is capable of doing trust me a woman is too I've seen it with my eyes. I'm sorry that someone people here on 7cups made you feel that they don't care. But just like with men and woman not everyone is the same just because you had a bad experience don't just assume that everyone has that same mentality as all those you've experienced. I hope you're okaii ❤️ I wish you all happiness and love throughout your years to come and now x
@crimsonFarm7320 There is a big gap. Society has expectations of masculinity, which often discourages men from expressing vulnerability and seeking help for their emotional struggles, leading to stigma around mental health concerns and a reluctance to reach out for support.
Did you know that research has shown that a lot mental health providers may miss or misdiagnose psychological problems in men because of their own gender biases? They might believe that men simply need to “man up” and stop showing weakness, or that the symptoms they present are not consistent with diagnostic tools. Men and women often exhibit different symptoms. In society's eyes men are supposed to be providers, protectors. (I am not saying that women can't be these things) Weakness is frowned upon.
Social pressure can prevent men from feeling safe and comfortable enough to start therapy. I think that's also an issue here too even among the guys. It's something I've noticed when I used to try and talk about things. I got the feeling that I should just get over it and move on.
I have read countless stories of men being vulnerable with their spouses or SO's only to be mocked or belittled. If the very people who claim to love you so deeply can make fun of you or look down on you for crying or expressing how you feel.... or worse yet having your vulnerabilities used against you. If someone, man or woman, tries to talk about things they're dealing with and these things happen. It steals their voice.
.
This is a really big problem. People need to understand that men have emotions and problems too. Crying doesn’t make them weak, it makes them human. People need to stop with this sort of stuff. This is an app for EVERYBODY. Because everybody has problems. Everybody cries. Most people have some sort of trauma. All genders get bullied. And just so you know you’ve got women on your side (me). I think it’s completely unfair and sexist that people are doing this on an app that’s supposed to HELP you through your problems, not make them worse.
[cw: slightly political]
Hear, hear!
In addition to other points already brought up, I also think modern feminism (as opposed to the original movement--voting rights, being able to work outside the home, etc.) is a factor in today's double standard & neglect of male issues. Once it shifted to its current stance, once feminist thinkers started up with theories about "the patriarchy" & moral panic about date-r*pe--yes, it is an issue but treating every man as a potential predator is not helpful--the stage was set. From what I've seen of it, today's feminism encourages its believers (not always women) to see men as inherently oppressive & misogynistic...not because of anything we say or do, but simply on account of our having a particular set of equipment, if you get the meaning. The default view is that all men are the oppressors & all women are the victims, the only exceptions being male allies of the movement & female critics (who are considered collaborators, of course). With such a philosophy having affected popular culture to some degree, & even more so the courts & certain kinds of law, is it any wonder that men's issues are not only ignored but sometimes dismissed?
@slowdecline48
Unfortunately, I've got an example how "equality" works in a real life legal system:
In my country women can retire at the age of 60, while men have to work until they are 65.
According to statistics, an average woman is basically healthy up to the age of 65, while an average man - to the age of... 60.
Statistically, lifetime expectancy for a man is close to 75 years, while an average woman should live up to the age of 82.
So, most of the burden of the social support system is on men, most of the benefits - for women.
