My partner upset me today
Hey everyone. This is very embarrassing to talk about but today my partner and i were having sex. He had known I am on my period right now and thats never really stopped us. In fact, he has made it very clear in the past that us being intimate should not be affected by my period, as long as i am ok with it. However, today we were changing positions and i had noticed there was a decent amount of blood and i immediately apologized and we started to get back to it, but he stopped us and said, "I'm sorry i cant." I apologized again, we cleaned up and i burst into tears. I cried for at least an hour, and he comforted me, cuddled me, and reassured me that everything is okay and he was sorry he upset me. I told him it was okay and I tried my best to act as normal as possible. He left my house and i tried to go on about my day as usual, but to be honest, ive been holding back tears all day, trying to distract myself from how the situation made me feel. Although my partner reassured me he is still attracted to me and isnt disgusted by me, unfortunately, that reassurance didnt make me feel any better about myself. Ive always struggled with gender and body dysphoria and i guess today just stirred up those feelings again. i feel embarrassed, ugly, and disgusted with myself. I am sorry this post is so long, just needed somewhere to put my feelings and im too insecure to talk to anyone in my personal life about it. thanks to anyone who has read this, please respond with any thoughts
@librastar29 sits beside you and hugs you tightly ❤ it's ok to be upset, if you need to cry just cry ❤ there's nothing to be embarrassed about sweetie, I'm sure your partner loves you very much. Just gotta put this down to being 'just one of those things ' I'm glad you opened up about your feelings here ❤ gives you another hug, we are all right here for you ❤
@Tinywhisper11 Thank you very much for saying that💕I think i partly struggle with it because we want to have kids one day and im a little scared for him to see me give birth one day. Or even just be vulnerable and intimate with him at all. im not sure how this will affect our intimate life. we have a great relationship and love each other very much, but now i am scared my insecurities have grown too massive
@librastar29 🙁 I understand the thought of all that is scary🙁 and I think you might need to tell him how much he upset you, I know that's hard though. Hugs you tightly ❤just give yourself some space, right now you just need some emotional support, that's what I'm here for🙂 ❤ so you want kids? That's awesome the nearest thing to heaven is a child ❤
@librastar29
You are always allowed to pull back consent when you feel uncomfortable, not in the mood or just wanting to stop. No is enough, and being on your period okay. It happens to the best of us, and I hope it gets better🤗
of course! i’m glad he stopped when he did!! i would never want him to do something he isn’t 100% on board with. i think all the blood just triggered past emotions for me. it’s just something i need to deal with as someone who bleeds😔thanks for the insight🩷
@librastar29
Please try to b kind to yourself. Periods are natural and something you have absolutely no control over it so you deserve no shame. You're partner thinks you are so sexy and so desirable the blood doesn't bother him a bit. I know our mental and emotional struggles can't always be solved by reason. But maybe it can b softened by loving yourself. I was helped by reminding me the things I did like about myself and put my focus on those things. Take care
Former nurse here. Did you ever think about using the cup or getting a diaphragm to hold everything back during those certain times? Talk to your GYN about it. He or she may have some practical solutions.
First, I want to acknowledge that what you’re feeling is completely valid. You had an emotional response to something that triggered deeper insecurities, and that’s okay. Your feelings don’t make you overly sensitive or irrational—they make you human. From what you described, your partner has always been supportive and comfortable with intimacy during your period, and this was just one moment where he felt uncomfortable. His feelings in that moment weren’t a reflection of his attraction to you or your worth; they were simply about his own comfort level at that specific time. He didn’t shame you or make you feel bad—he just had a limit at that moment, and that’s okay.
However, your emotional response suggests that this situation stirred up deeper feelings of self-worth, dysphoria, or insecurity rather than just being about what happened today. When we have past wounds related to body image or identity, small triggers can feel much bigger because they touch on something we’ve struggled with for a long time. If you already battle dysphoria, an experience like this can feel like confirmation of the negative thoughts you already face. But this moment does not define you, your attractiveness, or your worth. Dysphoria often lies to us—it makes us believe that we are "gross" or "wrong" in ways that others don’t actually perceive us. Your partner comforting you, cuddling you, and reassuring you is proof that the negative thoughts you're having about yourself are not the truth.
Your reaction to seeing the blood was to immediately apologize, which suggests that somewhere along the way, you may have learned that your body is something to be sorry for. But your period, your body, and its natural functions are nothing to be ashamed of. You do not need to apologize for existing in your body. Moving forward, try to be kind to yourself. What happened today was emotionally difficult, but you don’t need to punish yourself for it. Self-compassion is key here. If a friend were in your situation, you wouldn’t judge them so harshly—extend that kindness to yourself. If you need more reassurance, talk to your partner about how this affected you. He clearly cares about you, and he might not fully understand the depth of your feelings. It might also help to address the deeper emotions this situation triggered, whether through journaling or therapy, to understand where these feelings are truly coming from.
Lastly, try to challenge the negative self-talk. When you hear yourself saying, “I’m ugly” or “I’m disgusting,” remind yourself that your feelings are valid, but the thoughts they generate are not always factual. One uncomfortable moment does not define you. You are still attractive, you are still worthy, and you are still loved. This was a bump, not a roadblock, and you will move past it. You deserve to feel comfortable in your own skin, and I truly hope you find that peace💙
there's nothing to be embarrassed, kind to yourself. Periods are natural and you should have no shame. your partner loves and cares about you. I'm glad you opened up about your feelings. You're partner thinks you are sexy and beautiful. He has been supportive and comfortable with intimacy . he comforting you, cuddling you, and reassuring you . when your period is over I’m sure you and your partner will get it on and you will have good sex.
