Loving a porn addict
I don't know what to do. He does it every day. I'm disgusted when he touches me. I don't want to even have sex anymore. I feel ugly. I don't feel like im good enough for him. I want to be it but I'm not. Why does porn have to exist? I didnt used to be so sensitive but every time sex comes onscreen in a movie or something now I get incredibly uncomfortable. Raunchy music videos make me sick. His addiction is killing our relationship. I want to leave him over this. I feel so dramatic but the whole relationship is tainted now. The content he consumes has bled into our everyday life. It makes me want to throw up. His addiction disgusts me. I don't want to be disgusted by him. I feel like things will never get better. And before you tell me to set a boundary I have tried. I have even given the ultimatum that if he doesn't stop I will leave. He acts like he understands but I feel like it'll never get better. I cry about this all the time. What do you even do in this situation
@adaptableAcres6240
i'm so sorry. that's such a tricky situation. did his addiction start recently?
Leave. Unfortunately your significant other has made his choice, porn addiction is a serious issue in today’s men and it’s hard to escape from it, it gives them unrealistic expectations and genuine desire for actual love. If you want to stay take couples therapy, if that’s not possible then be his accountability person. Each day check in with if he consumes porn call him out on it or just break up with the guy. A good chuck of men who are addicted to porn will most likely watch some genuinely concerning material because of how numb his brain has become and can’t get hard off of normal stuff.
im in the same boat. if you ever want to talk about your situation with me im available. i know what youre going through.
@adaptableAcres6240 I'm so sorry from what you are going through. Even intimacy feels useless when you are doing it with someone who's addicted to corn. I know it's way too much to comprehend but I'm here for you, we can talk about it or anything else. Just a message away!
Oh my god... I'm a woman with porn addiction as well, but I can't understand his perspective. If I was dating someone I truly loved, I wouldn't be using porn anymore to distract myself from my loneliness! I'd do my best to respect my partner, especially if they're so uncomfortable with porn.
May I ask, what are the details of his porn addiction? Does he still respect you outside of intimate matters? Is he pushing his addiction for you to see or are you uncomfortable with the idea itself of him being addicted to porn?
No matter what, your boyfriend being addicted by porn or not isn't linked to your beauty! I bet you're a beautiful person with a beautiful soul deserving of being respected. Don't hesitate to state your distress to him as it is and to even leave him if you feel like a break is needed.
I understand these emotions similarly. My boyfriend recently got into the habit of watching videos of the same criteria—it’s truly unsettling to see and find it. I think the best option is to weigh the pros and cons; if he’s not willing to change, are you willing to put yourself in his shoes?
I don’t necessarily know your entire situation—but men are tough. I personally brought it up and we talked out the reasons as to why he feels attracted to that rather than real love… his reason was mainly loneliness. I know that’s disgusting but if he can’t see the love between what he already has give him a LOT of space, it’s not something you can solve for them.