I never thought it was bad
I was told to come therapy by one of my closest friends after they asked for time away from me. I always prided myself on being a good friend, and yet somewhere through the years of our friendship i stepped on her toes.
She said my drug use was a big part of why she needed time away from me. We live in different country’s and i never thought it affected her??
So here I am.
I could so easily fall back into self deprecating patterns but i refuse because how i talk and love myself is in a really good place and has been for a while. And I don’t want to disrespect and be mean to myself for losing her. I’m so so so sad I lost her but I can’t just sit here and blame myself. I have to grow and let her go and let her come back when she wants.
But god I’m angry and confused and hurt and i want to be better but i also don’t want her to only come back when i’m better and she can have that part of me. UGH.
I got off topic. I’m hurt and i’m reacting in ways i normally wouldn’t and I see that. I just wish i could be impartial but im to hurt to be.
Anyway if you’re still reading this, I got off topic abit aye.
Thanks for listening ahahah
I think is kind of topic here. What people think of us is almost every time a surprise, for good and for bad. You sound like a good person, and you are really thinking and trying to get better about this problem. I think you are brave. Sorry you are suffering:( but, the only permanent thing in life is change, tomorrow can be your best day
@bluey999
I think the big thing here to consider is, how much is your drug use affecting your life? And potentially by proxy, her life as well.
Is your drug use influencing your thoughts and behaviors? Is it affecting how you treat your friend and polluting your interactions? Is it changing who you are at your core?
How does your drug use feel for you?
Don't give up friend. My father used to say that your day isn't full until you have laughed, until you've cried, and you reflected back on the day. Big emotions get bigger when we hide from them and when we distract ourselves and externalize our attention. When you find ways to connect with the strong feelings don't be scared they are gonna come HARD AND FAST. It's like letting off steam on an instant pot. I believe in you.
Thank you <3. I’m sober nearly two days and it’s definitely coming hard and fast bahahahhaa. tysm for the advise and response