Anxious attachment PTSD and depression

Recently left a 12 year physically mentally verbally abusive and constant cheating relationship. We were high school sweethearts and I became very codependent on him due to my childhood traumas which were repeated throughout the relationship. I left the relationship without having any more feelings for the person and thought I was ready for a new one. I am now 5 months talking and 3 months into a new relationship and have been purging and experiencing severe anxious attachment and ptsd symptoms. Crying every single day over analyzing any small change in communication texting and just overall. I feel so afraid constantly of rejection and not being good enough. I feel worthless and weak. I don't show this to the new guy he has no clue I'm experiencing this, I self sabotage constantly but without him knowing. I am so fearful of getting hurt and wake up with trembles and fast heart rate every night. I need help