Struggling in public places and forming relationships
I was diagnosed with anxiety due to PTSD a few years ago, and it’s really the only symptom of PTSD that concerns doctors. Even at my worst they focused on my anxiety far more than my depression. It makes sense: everyone I know is dead or a violent or victim-based felon. I can’t find anyone else to talk to either.
It’s become a huge problem where the last person I tried to date was a prostitute. The signs were there, but she was so nice to me. She appreciated the little things I did for her, and she had fun stories. I now know why she was so adamant to stay away from the cops, but nonetheless. I hadn’t been comfortable around someone like her, and especially a woman in a very long time. Sadly, our whole thing fizzled out after a week cause that’s not my thing.
My grades in college are fine, and I’m maintaining a job finally. However, I have no life at all. No friends to call when things are tough. There are a few listeners on here, and I’m grateful for them, but they’re listeners. Our interactions stay on this app, and there’s only so much they can do. Again, absolutely grateful. I’ve filled out the appreciation form.
but long term this is a wall I can’t get past. Settling with someone I’m not attracted to because of politics or mental illness is wrong, but at the same time I feel like I ruined a shot with someone who seemed to like me. The last person who has in a long time.
I’m at a point where shopping in public, let alone approaching someone blindly is absolutely nerve wracking. OTOH, since I have no life at all dating apps don’t work well. They magnify the void that is my existence further pushing away potential partners I could possibly lie to about having a life in person.
working on myself isn’t helping anything either. It doesn’t make me more confident to talk to anyone. It just gives me an escape from the world and everyone. Until i get yet another reminder of how lonely i am. Then I get banned from platforms like Reddit for complaining about how advice I get doesn’t help, and it only gets worse.
this sucks. I don’t want to live.
@pioneeringWriter9271 aww sweetie I'm so sorry 🙁 sits beside you and hugs you tightly 💗 mental health plus loneliness is just to much for most people to bare. But thank God we have this site, a place to have some company and support 💖 it sounds like this site is a life line for you and me and many others. Your never truly alone because you have us🙂 I know it's not the same though. Hugs you tightly again 💖 please don't give up, everything is gonna be ok 💖
Thanks for the hugs! ❤️ Hugs back tightly ❤️
@pioneeringWriter9271 I'm really sorry you're going through this, and it sounds like you're feeling alone and distrustful and I completely understand. I can relate to you, and have found it hard in the past, to build connections that felt meaningful. I really hope things get better for you and you're able to recover. I am rooting for you!!
Yeah, that’s kinda accurate. Meaningful connections are tough, but honestly it doesn’t help when people expect you to have a good answer for massive periods where all you could do is survive. I’m not even 40 and I’ve seen so many people that I grew up with die or go to prison already.
and people wonder why I don’t have my bachelors yet or make me super uncomfortable about just having a GED. Not to mention the lack of a career or direction in life. There’s a lot of things that people do to make it hard and feed my anxiety.
and so yeah, it’s a tough problem. I don’t expect to figure it out, and at one point the suicide hotline was ghosting me over this stuff. So IDK how optimistic I am given past attempts in therapy and the hotlines behavior toward me in the past.
Break out your word finds
