just questions
i’m really young, probably far too young to be using this app. i consider myself very mature and able to communicate effectively, so it may seem that i’m older than my actual age. i can’t tell if my autism is the source of my depression and anxiety, but something is causing me to be the “mom” of the party. i feel like while everyone my age is having fun, living their dreams, hanging out with friends, going to parties and getting into trouble, all i want to do is sit down and watch a movie. and no, i dont think it’s fun to just sit down and watch a movie, i just do it because if i do really go out and do those things ill be miserable and anxious. all i ever wanted was to have a good childhood yet i still act and deal with adult-like problems. just imagine how my life would be later on my teenage years. i’m only at the very beginning. my life is so unfulfilling, i put everyone’s needs before my own. i hate everything about life and there’s nothing i can do to have fun. i’m so discontent waking up every day. (i am not suicidal or homicidal)
@kindPlum3198
First off, I just want to say that I see you and I hear you. It’s not easy when you feel like you’re in a space that doesn’t align with where everyone else seems to be, especially at your age. Feeling like you’re stuck in a place where you have to ‘be the mom’ of the group, while everyone else is off doing what’s supposed to be fun, must be exhausting. It’s okay to feel like you need time to yourself, and that’s not a bad thing at all. In fact, it takes a lot of strength to recognize that and take care of yourself.
Your feelings about not having a fulfilling childhood or the life you imagined are completely valid, but please don’t forget that you’re allowed to have your own pace and your own path. It’s not about fitting into what others are doing or what you “should” be doing—it’s about taking care of yourself first. There’s nothing wrong with needing space to decompress, and you don’t have to be out there doing what everyone else is doing to feel like you’re living your life. You’re already doing your best, and that's enough. If things feel tough, remember it’s okay to reach out for support, whether that’s a friend, family member, or a professional. You don’t have to carry all of this alone