I make myself nervous.
I've been making myself really nervous lately. Every day I think of a full-proof suicide plan, and it scares me just how much detail I put into those thoughts. What scares me even more is how I could do it any day with easy access. Does anyone else just randomly start planning out a suicide?
@AbigailMadden yeah I do sometimes but I also know deep down I would never do it. If you ever believe you could do that, then please reach out to someone. If it's just going through the thought, then yeah it's very scary and unnerving🙁 hugs you tightly 💗 please be kind to yourself💖
@Tinywhisper11 That's the thing, I can't tell if it's just a thought or not. Sometimes I really do feel like doing it, and the only thing that keeps me from doing it is I can't be alone long enough to actually do it. And I know I'm supposed to reach out to the support line or whatever, but what will that even change?
@AbigailMadden yeah help lines aren't great long term. You know you can check into a hospital I think that's the best kind of help when we are feeling this way, I know that can be scary though, and would make people worry if you don't want them to know🙁 other than not having enough time alone, what is that one thing you want to live for??
@Tinywhisper11 There's really nothing I want to live for. Everything I have will be gone one day, like my parents, my dog, my best friend, my belongings. Everything is temporary. The things that give me joy, they'll be gone sooner or later. I don't have any talents or passions, so there's nothing like that keeping me alive. And I can't check into a hospital, if I did that I would have to ask my parents to, and I don't want to talk to them about it. They'll just say no and try to fix the problem themselves, which they can't. They don't even know I'm depressed, let alone the extent of it. Yeah, I'm always telling them I don't want to live to be 18, but they just think I'm joking. None of my friends even know.
@AbigailMadden sits beside you and wraps you in a warm blanket, and hugs you tightly 💗 I understand nothing lasts forever, and I hope and pray that theese thoughts won't last forever. Life is hard and the world sucks 🙁 but remember if it didn't suck we'd all fall off🙂 I get it with your parents and friends, it's not easy to talk to the people we are closest too, thank God we have this site, a safe place where we can be ourselves 💖 my heart really breaks for you, just know I'm always here if you need to talk 💗 we all are, gives you another hug 💗
